Friday, March 11, 2011

Hard Times Filled With Love

Dearest Friends, Family, and any other reader of this post:


As most of you know, our family experienced an extreme tragedy last week. Any of you that don’t know can check it out for yourself on any news site for PA, I’m sure, but I won’t put any details on here. Of course, the media, as is their job, have put their own twist on everything, so we’ve chosen (and advised our families as well) to ignore the stories.

I’m not writing to clear the story up for you, or to plead my husband’s innocence. But I am writing to let you know how I feel, and to thank all of you for your love and support.

First, let me explain to those of you who don’t know our relationship well, that my husband and I have been married for 6 ½ years, together for 11, and we’ve had our fair share of issues right from the start. But we’ve always stood by each other, without a shadow of a doubt. Leaving my husband was never an option; I’d forgiven him before the police even left my house. He is a wonderful husband and father, just one whose mistakes (which we all make) have been made extremely public. My main concern for the past week has been keeping us together (Mikey, me, Harlie and Jordan) as a family. We’ve done that well so far, even if it’s meant sleeping apart or all packing up and sleeping in a strange place just to be close to one another (Mike had been ordered to reside with his parents until his preliminary hearing which has been postponed – he’s home with us now).

My other concern (Mike’s as well, and the same for our immediate family) was the – as I called it – end of our lives. Less than 24 hours after Mike’s arrest, I realized our lives were far from over, they’d just be different. We are looking at a possibility of some jail time, praying instead for extremely long house arrest, or – by the grace of God – probation. The time from now to sentencing could be up to a year, so we’re nowhere close to knowing where we stand.

I’ve not asked God “Why us?” because I know the answer. It happened to us because of decisions Mike made. I’ve also not asked God why He’s so cruel, because He is not. I’m not yet at a point that I can say “Thank You, God, for allowing my husband to be arrested.” But I am at a point where I can say, “Thank You, God, for using my husband’s arrest to show us how important our family is, and to bring us closer together than we’ve ever been.”

And all of you, those of you who know us well, and those of you who don’t, those of you who understand us, and those of you who can’t yet, thank you for the love and support you’ve shown us, the prayers you’ve said for us, and the outstretched arms you’ve reached for us. At a time we thought shame would send us packing, we’ve been encouraged and uplifted by our wonderful families, church family, and friends who can be called nothing less than family.

No, our lives will never be the same again, but in some ways that’s good, because we’re learning. Learning from our mistakes, learning what’s important and what’s not, and learning to work harder at doing the right things. And the most important thing we’re learning is that family is something you never give up on, something you hold on to as tight as you can, something you NEVER EVER take for granted.

With love, Jessie Rager



Mike’s Note:
I would like to thank everybody for their support and prayers, especially for Jess. She is an extremely strong person to stand by me when I have made terrible mistakes. The encouragement we have received has helped me immensely at those times I have felt the lowest. It has been a tough pill to swallow, but a good wake-up call to get my life and mind straight before anything else might have happened. The embarrassment I’ve caused for everyone in my life has been the worst part and I apologize for that. Our Savior has shown His love for me and I hope you can realize that love and forgive me, too.

(No, Mike did not touch a computer to type this – I took his hand-written words and transferred them to this page.)

16 comments:

Angela said...

Jess and Family,
I am so happy that you sent this out, i was really worried about all of you and i didn't want to be a neb nose. I am happy you are working it out and i want you to know that we are behind you.

Pastor Rob & Denise said...

Hey Jess and Mike know that Denise and I are praying for your healing. Remember God has an amazing way of turning (the most seemingly tragic events) into a powerful testimony of Love and Redemption....it sounds like you are both on your way. The road ahead will be difficult but remember Love can heal a multitude of things (1 Peter 4:8) and it never fails (1 Cor 13) Remember our conversations 6 1/2 years ago?...No matter WHAT we will work through this.... Draw strength from God, your Pastors, friends & family, and know that we love you dearly. Pastor Rob & Denise

Anonymous said...

I have been praying for all of you every day. Mike, I have known you a long time and, although we rarely talk or anything, I would never judge you or turn my back on you or treat you any differently than before all of this. I know you are a good guy. Keep your head up and know that there are more people still there for you than you may even know. Mike, Jess, and family take care and God bless all of you.
Kristy Johnson McCullough

Anonymous said...

Dear Jess,

I must admit you are an incredibly strong woman to post this story. I know how easily the media can twist things apart as I have experienced my share as well. I am proud you are staying strong throughout this entire ordeal. Please know that I pray often for all of you. Not just you but Mike as well. I have cried at the thought of prison for him. I will continue to pray. Keep your head up and know that If God Is For You, Who Can Be Against You.

Lots of hugs and love for everyone,

Chris

MamaSoo said...

Jess and Family:

May the Holy Spririt fill you both with His peace through this time in your lives. (Col. 3:15) I have put you and your family on our prayer list at church. I hope that you will have many people in your lives to support you and help you through this. I am one of those people -- if you need to talk or pray or anything else, please get in touch. Just keep praying and trusting in God.

Karen Soohy and family

Michele Graham said...

Kristy M said it all perfectly. If you ever need anything I will always be there for ALL of you.

Blanche and Mike said...

I am glad that you have updated us on how you and Mike are doing. I have been very worried for all of you. I have been praying very hard for you all and so has my little ones. Please know that we love and support you guys. If you need anything, a hug, a shoulder or even just a friend, we are all here for you.
Love, BLanche, Mike and kids.

Sarah said...

Jess, I love you.

Anonymous said...

Jess,
We wanted you to know that we have been praying for you, Mike, the kids and both families. We often say that we can not imagine anyone going through hard times without God in their lives. It is only with the grace of God and our faith that we know all will be well. If you guys need anything please let us know, we are here for ALL of you.
Sandy, Barry, Steph & Lauren

Anonymous said...

Jess, please go to counseling at the Women's Help Center.. I'm not saying this to be mean, but you are in a honeymoon stage right now and later on boom!! something else will happen... how much should you endure...I'm praying for you and your children...please be strong...I've been through this that's why I know... looking back I see why you are saying this.. you are a wonderful mom and good wife....you deserve THE BEST... God will help you...he helped me...

Anonymous said...

Please think of your children. Too often the extremely religious stay in bad marriages because they think it is their wifely duty to endure and suffer. Look at your girls and ask yourself if you want them to marry a man that makes those types of mistakes. This the type of mistake that really shouldn't be forgiven this easily. I agree with the other person who said please go to the Women's help center and talk to someone. They will help you have the strength to be a strong independent women.

Anonymous said...

TO ANONYMOUS: WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ANYONE WHAT TO DO....YOU PROBABLY COULDN'T TAKE OF YOUR OWN LIFE ..NOW YOU WANT TO TELL OTHERS WHAT TO DO....KEEP YOUR COMMENTS TO YOURSELF..THE WAY OF THE LORD WILL HELP THEM THRU THIS TOGETHER...MIKE AND JESS ARE VERY GOOD PARENTS "TOGETHER"

Anonymous said...

Wow. To the previous person. That is why religion is brain washing for so many.

Please Jess get counciling from the Women's help center. Think of how many people will not allow their children to visit with your girls because of fear.

Anonymous said...

TO ANONYMUS: IT IS APPARENT THAT YOU HAVE NO FAITH IN GOD AND HIS WONDERFUL WORKS AND FOR THE CHILDREN, THEY HAVE BEEN BROUGHT UP IN THE CHURCH.. THE CHURCH IS FORGIVING UNLIKE YOU WHO OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF LOVE, GOD AND FAMILY

Anonymous said...

SO glad you are in counseling. I hope your husband fully understands the damage he created, that is sure to plague your family for years to come. Any sane person would not want their teenage daughter within 5 feet of him. So so sad. I have much respect for your strength to stand by him through this. Praying for you and your children.

The Smiths said...

Anonymous, I think that you have every right to have the concerns you have, however, I do not think this is the forum to announce them. I think you should take your concerns to Jesse, I know for a fact that when Jesse made this decision her girls and their safety were her top priority. I hope you are not basing your opinion on just what you heard on the news or read in the paper, because unfortunately the news is sensationalizing the story. I know being a parent myself it is very easy to watch what was on the news and come to a very jaded conclusion, however, there are two sides to every story and in our country
you are iinnocent until proven guilty and you have a right to defend yourself. Right now you are hearing one side of the story, Jesse has all sides and was able to come to an informed decision using all that information. If you truly are a friend of Jesse's you would just ask her yourself privately, I think that once you had all the information you would understand her decision better. Also, if the police thought those children were in danger, they would have removed them from the me or not aloud mike to come back. It's so easy when we are not directly involved to say "if that were me I would......". But until you are actually in the situation you don't really know how you would act.