Dearest Friends, Family, and any other reader of this post:
As most of you know, our family experienced an extreme tragedy last week. Any of you that don’t know can check it out for yourself on any news site for PA, I’m sure, but I won’t put any details on here. Of course, the media, as is their job, have put their own twist on everything, so we’ve chosen (and advised our families as well) to ignore the stories.
I’m not writing to clear the story up for you, or to plead my husband’s innocence. But I am writing to let you know how I feel, and to thank all of you for your love and support.
First, let me explain to those of you who don’t know our relationship well, that my husband and I have been married for 6 ½ years, together for 11, and we’ve had our fair share of issues right from the start. But we’ve always stood by each other, without a shadow of a doubt. Leaving my husband was never an option; I’d forgiven him before the police even left my house. He is a wonderful husband and father, just one whose mistakes (which we all make) have been made extremely public. My main concern for the past week has been keeping us together (Mikey, me, Harlie and Jordan) as a family. We’ve done that well so far, even if it’s meant sleeping apart or all packing up and sleeping in a strange place just to be close to one another (Mike had been ordered to reside with his parents until his preliminary hearing which has been postponed – he’s home with us now).
My other concern (Mike’s as well, and the same for our immediate family) was the – as I called it – end of our lives. Less than 24 hours after Mike’s arrest, I realized our lives were far from over, they’d just be different. We are looking at a possibility of some jail time, praying instead for extremely long house arrest, or – by the grace of God – probation. The time from now to sentencing could be up to a year, so we’re nowhere close to knowing where we stand.
I’ve not asked God “Why us?” because I know the answer. It happened to us because of decisions Mike made. I’ve also not asked God why He’s so cruel, because He is not. I’m not yet at a point that I can say “Thank You, God, for allowing my husband to be arrested.” But I am at a point where I can say, “Thank You, God, for using my husband’s arrest to show us how important our family is, and to bring us closer together than we’ve ever been.”
And all of you, those of you who know us well, and those of you who don’t, those of you who understand us, and those of you who can’t yet, thank you for the love and support you’ve shown us, the prayers you’ve said for us, and the outstretched arms you’ve reached for us. At a time we thought shame would send us packing, we’ve been encouraged and uplifted by our wonderful families, church family, and friends who can be called nothing less than family.
No, our lives will never be the same again, but in some ways that’s good, because we’re learning. Learning from our mistakes, learning what’s important and what’s not, and learning to work harder at doing the right things. And the most important thing we’re learning is that family is something you never give up on, something you hold on to as tight as you can, something you NEVER EVER take for granted.
With love, Jessie Rager
Mike’s Note:
I would like to thank everybody for their support and prayers, especially for Jess. She is an extremely strong person to stand by me when I have made terrible mistakes. The encouragement we have received has helped me immensely at those times I have felt the lowest. It has been a tough pill to swallow, but a good wake-up call to get my life and mind straight before anything else might have happened. The embarrassment I’ve caused for everyone in my life has been the worst part and I apologize for that. Our Savior has shown His love for me and I hope you can realize that love and forgive me, too.
(No, Mike did not touch a computer to type this – I took his hand-written words and transferred them to this page.)
